i feel no anger, just
a loose flame inside
with just a few select words
you made me smile big enough to cure cancer
 what is this "you" button i can't switch off?

scully and mulder were soul-mates without
sexy times
but i guess that wasn't the case
with us
because i smelled you from years
away and always wanted you for dinner

when you dipped your finger and painted
a brief but elaborate
landscape of our unfolding
in the morning light all
the fluid fantasy had turned
to dried sediment
on our clothes
my mind clings

to it like a fish hooked
on a line
is it desperate to be
cut free, so much so that i
would rip my mouth
to get back to the underwater
solitude

or is that flailing a plea for
more freedom
a celebratory dance made
awkward and desperate-
looking for lack of limbs
i don't know why

even as i sit in good
company
new fall air tickling under
my collar
i feel apart from everything
i know and want

fastened to my declarations
and doubts like a blind dagger
thrower's unfortunate assistant