Thursday, August 23, 2012

"hang there, my verse, in witness of my love"

running down the street in a flash of
incense and smokey garbage
a slick of fresh vomit gives speed to my already
speedy trajectory
going i don't know where
maybe towards hauling my goods everywhere
wobbly and wiry-haired, moving but slowly
through the streets in search of spare change
there's something about this city
always dodging something
on your way to anything and everything
constantly uncovering what it is to be brave

you could be leaning on some scaffolding where your stoop used to be
scratchin' at that lottery ticket like today could be the day
not the preacher not the hipster not the twin babies on the scooters
could make you pray
just that lotto ticket
today could be the day
or down the street, another neighbor's shirtless
hips pushed out like he was pissing on the ground as he tied, tied tight, that bandana around his head
pulling at it, to get it in place, to keep it right, to keep everything, everything in place, just right
strung out on too much life

so i tell myself no stress, get dressed,
no crying, except in gratitude
no more living for someone else to do the right thing
so angry i could spit fire and give myself a good case of gangrene
by fighting this unwillingness to unhook from another's scaly flesh
like decades-old wallpaper being stripped, inch by sticky inch

don't you ever just want a friend?
neither near nor far-
this thought's been at me like
a mosquito buzzing madness in my ear
a quick turn over my shoulder to catch it
and a puffy, pink reminder on my shoulder of just how evasive you are

peace, fleeting
ease in only every second step
the torment of a seeker is being reminded of your own intention
that was set
you know what you've done, what you've chosen,
that's your signature, you signed up for this
gums spontaneously bleeding to remind me i am not me i am not mine
saturn will loop back again, slap me upside the head one more time
in case i forget

stay - breathe - stay
it's not time to leave yet
just get up, start digging
i know you dug the hole yesterday,
but it's full now, and we all need water

the body you found is exactly the body you were meant to find
good and evil share a nexus
clearing away the dust and distortion is the virtue
right actions impact the shape of the mind

goodness gives life a slow-mo setting
time to enjoy, to respond instead of thrashing about at the pull of the hook
living has sunk into the soft meat of your cheek
there's no blame to be placed
nowhere else to be
ignorance and lethargy, passion and anxiety
leverage the scales, giving center a nationality
goodness + reason = freewill
not right nor left, not you nor me
but choosing oneness
dare i say it: unity

every star you see is already burnt out
i know you'll die, or i
maybe even this love of ours
we just can't know which goes first

but the true death will come
if we don't even try
a pale heart turned to dust,
withered from thirst


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